Why go for one-night stand?

What is the purpose of the one-night stand? Does it accomplish anything? I don't condone one-night stands; for me they've led to awkwardness, and self-loathing (of course I'm filled with self loathing without sex in my life, so what's the difference?).
I'm reluctant to accept "I was drunk" as the sole reason for a one night stand. Alcohol contributes to risky behavior or clouds judgment. As a depressant, it also enhances negative emotions. In light of this, there are temporary mindsets we should not mix with alcohol--mindsets that make us more vulnerable and prone to a one night stand.
Here they are:
Lonely Mentality
Sex can seem like a quick fix for loneliness. It's not that we feel validated when we have sex, but it is nice to know that we are attractive. That physical and mental intimacy, while fleeting, is nice in the moment. Unfortunately, though, when that person leaves your life, your loneliness intensifies.
Vengeful Mentality
It's pretty twisted, but sex can be used for revenge. Sleeping with that jerky ex's best friend, or some other "strategic" person to hurt someone else is the M.O. However, using people to hurt other people will only lead to a bad outcome.
Risk-taking Mentality
You know those periods in your life you're more inclined to take risks? Sex is sometimes risky behavior, along with drugs, alcohol, etc. It's unhealthy to take risks that impact the body and mind, but it's also thrilling.
Desiring Mentality
It's not always mental. Sometimes you just want to get laid. Unfortunately, for me, when I want to get laid, I don't. When I don't feel like getting laid, suddenly opportunities abound.
Liberated Mentality
You think you're over your ex, so you run out and exercise your rights to freedom. But if you're going to an extreme, such as having a one night stand, to prove you're over someone, then you are probably not really over them.
Closing the Loop Mentality
There are some people in your life with sexual tension. Things should have happened, but circumstances didn't permit at the time. All of a sudden, you've got an opportunity and you both know you have to do it. It's all about getting it out of your system.
I've had three one night stands in my life. They can all be traced back to a mentality above:
College - Freedom Mentality/Revenge Mentality - I had just broken up with my first serious girlfriend and I met a random girl at a party and slept with her, partially because I was free to do so, and partially because I wanted to (pun intended) stick it to my ex.
Italy - Risk-taking Mentality - Living abroad in Italy for two months, "what happened in Italy stayed in Italy". This was the most random encounter I ever had with a girl from Xavier University. That's the only thing I knew about her, that she attended Xavier.
High School Friend - Closing the Loop - I ended up having a one night stand with a girl I had dated in high school years later. We flirted for years and finally got the whole thing out of our systems.
The mindsets outlined above are about vulnerability. When we go away from home, feeling lonely, or just got dumped, the vulnerability feeds the one-night stand mentalities. The alarming thing is that there are guys out there who know how to sense this mindset in a woman. They intentionally look for vulnerable women with sex in mind, but no intention of dating or communicating afterward.
The other ingredient, of course, is animal attraction. But this attraction lives in us every day. We only act upon it when our mentality dictates it. So, I contend that a one night stand is 90% mental, even though it's a physical act.
I have outgrown one night stands. Sex without connection, laughter, love, compatibility, and mutual experience is empty. This explains why it's awkward the next day when everyone comes back down to earth.
Do you agree that one night stands are mostly mental? What mentalities would you add to the list, and what kinds of experiences have you or your friends had with one night stands? Did you ever have any that turned out well, or didn't lead to negative self-perception?

Understand Sexual Desire of Dominant Women

If you are like most men out there, you probably have no idea what makes those head-strong, powerful and intelligent career women “tick”. I am referring to those women you see in power suits, managing a company or running her own, who seem completely invincible and on top of the world. These women know what they want in life and they do not stop until they get it. They are fast talkers, they can close a deal with a simple wink of the eye, they can make a male subordinate cry with the slightest of disappointed looks and they will never settle for anything less than perfect sexual equality. Furthermore, I think we can all agree that these are the sexiest women out there. Men just love to imagine what they have on underneath those designer suits.
The common train of thought and logic would lead you to assume that these women are just as domineering in the bedroom behind closed doors. Generally speaking, this is actually the furthest thing from the truth. Every person out there is different with regards to their personality in life and what turns them on after hours, and there will be many variations and deviances from the norm. However, most of the fierce and passionate women in the workforce love nothing more than to come home and be completely subjugated and ravaged by a very strong and masculine man.
In all sexual relationships there must be a dominant and a submissive. Two dominants or two submissives can get together and have magnificent sexual experiences, but there will be a certain something lacking emotionally. Each one will feel less psychologically satisfied because they will not be able to express their dominant or submissive traits quite a comfortably as they should. Pop culture tends to assume that people who are submissive during sex are doing so because this is how they want to be perceived in life, they want to be dominated. Even old psychology books will back up this old principle. Fortunately, the psychology of arousal and the logic that lies behind fantasies and the roles we play during lovemaking has been virtually re-written by Dr. Michael J. Bader, the leading psychoanalyst in this delicious area of expertise. To really sum up his new theories in a very rough manner, our sexual desires are almost the opposite of who we are in normal everyday life scenarios. His theories are applied to every sexual thought, idea and fantasy and not just dominant and subordinate behaviors. His new book made me quite hungry with dirty little thoughts.
A dominant women enjoys being submissive in bed because she is able to achieve stimulation. It is impossible to feel any kind of guilt, worry, or anxiety and become sexually aroused at the same time. Professional career women very often feel like they are too overbearing towards men, too controlling and too dominant. That causes a certain level of stress. This stress is completely alleviated by becoming the submissive during intercourse thereby allowing her to achieve stimulation. These and other new brilliant revelations have created a paradigm shift in the psychology of sex. And I think it is divine to have an in depth understanding of what makes the other person scream with hot blooded delight.
Of course, every individual will have a specific dirty little secret which turns them on and no two women are the same. This article applies to many strong business women, but not all. It becomes important to discuss what makes you turned on with your lover or find a reciprocal partner. But now many of you men know our dirty little secret. If you are the type of man who enjoys a dominant woman, the same logic applies to the quiet little librarian with the cat eyeglasses on. She just might be a dom-femme complete with a torture chamber in her home where she can break her male slaves. And don’t forget ladies …… this same idea applies to men!

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Marital Crisis Caused by Male Genes ?

Swedish researchers found that what women have suspected all along: that marital woes can often be attributed to men's genetic make-up, according to a study linking a common male gene to relationship problems.

The gene variant, which is present in four of 10 Swedish men, can explain why some men are more prone to stormy relationships and bond less to their wives or girlfriends, a team of researchers at Stockholm's Karolinska Institute said.
"There are, of course, many reasons why a person might have relationship problems, but this is the first time that a specific gene variant has been associated with how men bond to their partners," Hasse Walum, one of the researchers, said in a statement.
The team found that men who carry one or two copies of a variant of the gene often behave differently in relationships than men who lack the gene variant, called allele 334.
"The incidence of allele 334 was statistically linked to how strong a bond a man felt he had with his partner," the statement said.
Men who had two copies of allele 334 were twice as likely to have had a marital or relationship crisis in the past year than those who lacked the gene variant, it said.
Their wives or girlfriends also noticed the difference.
"Women married to men who carry one or two copies of allele 334 were, on average, less satisfied with their relationship than women married to men who didn't carry this allele," Walum said.
He stressed however that the effect of the genetic variation was relatively modest and could not be used to predict with any real accuracy how someone would behave in a future relationship.
The study surveyed 550 twins and their partners or spouses in Sweden.
Martin Ingvar, a professor of neurophysiology at Karolinska Institute, said the results were "very exciting."
"These are original findings which shed light on the fact that all of our behaviours are influenced by both nature and nurture. Even complex, cultural social phenomens such as marriage are influenced by a person's genetic make-up," Ingvar said.
The gene in question controls the production of a molecule receptor for vasopressin, a hormone that is found in most mammals.
The same gene has previously been linked to monogamous behaviour in male voles, a mouselike rodent.
The researchers said they hoped greater knowledge of the effect of vasopressin on human relations could also help understand the causes of diseases characterised by problems with social interaction, such as autism.
The results of the study were published Tuesday in the US scientific journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS).

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Woman ! Wanna Flirt "Him" ?

In previous post, it's merely the skills for man who wanna flirt a woman. However, if you are a woman, things would be a bit different. Here's for the ladies:-

Flirting is a whole-body experience. It engages the eyes, tickles the mind, and awakens the senses. While you may think that flirting is something we learn, there is plenty of evidence to suggest that we are born knowing how to flirt. Flirting behaviors are exhibited by dozens of cultures and animals from birds to fruit flies.
Research into human mating behaviors at bars and clubs have revealed that successful flirtations all go through a similar sequence of events. Nonverbal cues such as arching brows, swaying hips, and tossing hair all cue a man that you're interested. Once one of you breaks the ice by speaking, the other person has the option of turning towards you, acknowledging your presence, or turning away.
If it's the former, and all goes well, your conversation will lead to deeper interest as both of you lean forward and your gazes wander from the face to other parts of the body. The sense of touch becomes involved as you touch his hand in empathy, or he puts an arm gently on your back to guide you through the crowd.
As the night wears on, your bodies will eventually become “synchronized.” In other words, your body position and movements will mimic the other person's. When he glances down, you will glance down. When you pick up your glass to take a sip, he will pick up his. At this point, you can congratulation yourself on a successful flirtation: you're both clearly interested, and it's time for exchanging phone numbers.
What does this research mean to us? It's all very well to know how flirtation works, but how can we nudge it along?
Today I'm going to give you three flirting techniques backed up by science that are guaranteed to get you to that initial conversation with a man.

1. The Best Flirtation Technique of All Time
First of all, what's the single most successful technique that women can use to invite a man to approach?

• Ask for his help with something?
• Toss your hair while gazing straight at him?
• Dance seductively by yourself?
• Give him a big smile?
  

Got your answer?
The winner, hands-down, is (d) Smile.
It's amazing that something so simple could have such an amazing effect, but men around the world will tell you the same thing. When men are getting up the courage to approach a woman, most will pick the average, friendly-looking girl over the beautiful, bored ice princess.
Approachability matters. A smile shows a man that you're friendly, that you're willing to acknowledge him, and that he won't have to fear getting rejected when he approaches you.
Plus, a smile puts us in our best light. Studies have shown that women with open, friendly body language are perceived as more attractive than women with closed, negative body language. Quite simply, a smile is the cheapest beauty treatment you can apply.

2. Do I See You?
Next, there's nothing more crucial to a developing flirtation than eye contact. This is where shyness can be a great hindrance. If you are too shy, embarrassed, or overwhelmed by butterflies to meet his gaze, he may think that you are rejecting him.
On the other end of the scale, a steady gaze is equally disconcerting. In the animal kingdom, a stare is a threatening nonverbal behavior, and human beings find it creepy. Someone who steals a glance at you is infinitely preferable to someone who checks you out brazenly without hiding his gaze.
Eye contact should be brief, a mere recognition that both of you see one another, and then ended by glancing down. After all, lowering your lashes can be as seductive as meeting his gaze in the first place, especially if it's accompanied by a shy smile. Up your seduction power by glancing at him again within thirty seconds to a minute after your first glance.

3. He Can't Flirt with You if He Can't Get to You!
Last of all, make sure that you are physically accessible to being approached! We often go out in groups, and there's nothing more intimidating to a man than a woman surrounded by a half-dozen of her best friends.
Very few men will feel comfortable braving the stares of your friends while he tries to chat you up, so if you are out with a group, give any secret admirers a chance to approach you when you're on your own. Excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, or go buy a round of drinks. Keep your body language open and scan the room with your eyes. Some women even dance by themselves to allow a man the opportunity to approach.
Similarly, don't be in such a hurry to get to your destination that you are gone before Mr. Perfect can raise his hand to wave you down. Take your time, enjoy the journey, and keep your eyes open and your head up. A woman who's strolling pleasantly and looking around her is much more approachable than a woman who's striding down the street, lost in thought.
If you enjoyed these flirting tips, there's so much more to learn! Discover my FREE “How to Be Irresistible to Men” newsletter series and 6-Part Mini-Course, chockfull of great tips on how to do everything from getting more male attention to online dating. It's all backed by the latest research into how men and women meet and mate.

If you like this post, I guess you might also interested on this Free eBook, entitle "How To Attract A Partner"

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Learn to Flirt

Flirting is not as dirty as you think.

Flirting is the way most people determine whether or not a member of the opposite sex is interested in them. Following is a quick outline on how you should go about the complex, sometimes fun, sometimes not so fun, task of flirting. It all beings with your approach.

The Approach
One person approaches the other. They move into closer physical proximity. This much is clear: NO approach equals NO possibility of initiating contact. You must approach!
Example: A woman sits down next to a man in a coffee shop, or a man stands near a woman in a dance club. This is the first step. Once you approach, you begin looking for the signs.

The Signs
The person who has been approached will always signal the other’s presence in some way…a sign. This signal is not like a train whistle, however, more a subtle body language which you can learn to recognize. For example, he or she simply may look up, move over to make room, nod slightly, or signal with a glancing eye contact.
A display of total obliviousness to the one who is approaching generally indicates lack of interest altogether. Don’t be discouraged. But if the one you approached shows absolutely no interest, then it’s time to re-group and try again. But let’s say the approach works. You have your positive acknowledgement, now what? Time to talk

The Verbal Exchange
The two people may then engage in a mild verbal exchange about impersonal, unimportant matters such as the weather or the scene around them. The key word here is MILD.
This is the classic place for the clever “line,” but cleverness is not required. At this point, a verbal exchange is not for the purpose of sharing valuable insights about life or determining philosophical compatibility. It is just a vehicle to further the developing contact.
Examples: Verbal overtures might include anything from “please pass the pickles” to “your looking great tonight”, to “have you seen the waitress?”. Without some form of verbal response, it is highly unlikely that the next step will occur. Let’s say all is going as planned. Time for body language.

Body Language
Over a period of time, a couple that has begun to talk may also begin to orient themselves physically to one another, to turn toward one another until, if all is goes well, they are fully facing one another. This is your goal.
This step can take minutes or hours . . . or weeks or months . . . to achieve. Yet, without this physical reorientation toward one another, not very much can ever happen, so give up on people who turn their back toward you for long periods of time! But if they don’t…

Touching
The woman or the man (most often the woman) touches the other in a light, fleeting way. Examples: A couple might accidentally brush their hands against one another while reaching for a drink, or the woman might pat the man on the arm in the middle of a shared joke. The exchange of very subtle, almost glancing touches may continue for some while, and if all goes well, can escalate into the casual affections shown by couples who are dating. If you’ve reached this point, then flirting has now become the beginning of a relationship. The Art of Flirting should always end with the beginning of a relationship. Now get out there and flirt.

The Art of Flirting is really the Art of making first contact. You only have one shot at making a great first impression. By following some of the guidelines we’ve established in this article, you should now be equipped to locate, approach, and ascertain whether or not your subtle flirting has opened the doors to a new and exciting relationship.


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